ANTIDOTES TO TOXIC BEHAVIOR: IT ISN'T ALWAYS EASY
When Leo graduated from high school, he was told bluntly by his father, "I've raised you—provided you with bed and board for eighteen years —and now you're on your own." Leo quickly found a job in an accounting office. At first he did menial chores, but he learned the work rapidly and seemed to have a promising future with the company. His real interest, however, was law, and he was determined one way or another to become a lawyer. He began attending evening courses in a local university. Despite his long hours at the office, he managed to take two or three courses each semester.
He attended school for six years before he had accumulated enough credits to be accepted in law school. Many times during these six years he felt fed up: "I'm really working two jobs—one at school and one at the office. I have no time to enjoy myself. Sometimes I feel like a jerk using up my life trying to reach a goal that I'll probably never make anyhow."
He was finally accepted in the law school and, since he had no financial reserves, had to continue working. The demands of law school were even more taxing. He had to take more units and work at his accountant job late into the evenings. He needed his weekends to study and catch up on his sleep. There was no time for leisure. In addition, the tuition for law school was much higher. He was forced to move to a cheaper apartment and trim every expense to the minimum. Yet he persevered. He knew what he wanted, and he was willing to put up with whatever sacrifices were necessary in order to get it.
One sure way to poison oneself is to expect or seek toxic-free relationships and experiences.
An important antidote in a culture that emphasizes permissiveness is the willingness to accept unavoidable toxic experiences while continuing to seek the gratifications of one's needs. This is particularly true when we undertake an endeavor that involves a considerable length of time and requires a sustained effort to complete.
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